I have mixed feelings

Most of my posts and communication have been positive or at least optimistic. There are very funny moments in each day that we live in Geneva. But there are lots of not so funny moments too. I’m really bad at moving. Not logistically though there was the vomiting incident after we flew to Geneva because of low blood sugar so maybe I’m physically bad at moving too. But I am really bad at moving. I always get excited about the new place we are headed to (Geneva has great public transportation! Forest can learn French!) and then start hating on the place we were (Houston was so hot! Their public transportation is terrible!). But then we move. And all the sudden, the new place doesn’t look so hot (It’s cold! They don’t understand me!) and the old place looks like heaven (Mexican food! Rodeo!) and it seems like the wheels come off. You’d think after three places in as many years I would have this down but as I realized recently, I do not have this down at all.

Moving is an isolating experience. All your friends are staying where they are. You are the one leaving. You may not know anyone where you are going. I knew one person and the day we got to Geneva was the day she found out she was being moved back to the States. I figured that more people would offer to speak English but they really only tend to offer English once you’ve offered French. It’s like playing chicken with your linguistics- who will break first? Generally my French breaks down too fast to earn the right to speak to someone in English.

I am rereading “1000 Gifts” and was reminded that so much of our pain and brokenness comes from being ungrateful. We look at blessings and see only curses. So, in an effort to break that cycle in myself, I try to find something I am grateful for- for the ability to live in another country, for a chance to learn a new language, for the sweet new friend who texted me the day she found out I had moved here to invite me over, for our new church that is so diverse and dynamic and for our cute, cozy and well-organized house. There are more- like the occasional spotting of the Alps or the fact that France is less than ten minutes away. But, it’s tough to move. I looked back at old posts and felt like I was lying to only point out the funny or charming aspects of this adventure. So there you have it. This whole thing reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon below. I feel like that’s probably true for most things but I definitely have mixed feelings about moving.